October blog project - Day 11

Day 11: a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.

Man, didn't we just talk about how I hate pictures of myself? Sheesh.

So I manned, (womanned?) up and took a lame-o bathroom mirror self portrait today so that I'd have something recent. Because otherwise it was gonna be uh, the picture of cutting my hair short I already posted? And that's been months. My hair grew.



So there it is, crippling insecurity and self-loathing. Me, in all my pasty whiteness, with my half-wet from the shower hair, and doughy round face, low forehead, widow's peak, double chin, giant nose, one eye that's never as open as the other, in my workout clothes with my lack of boobs, lack of waist, with my creepy talon claw like extra-long fingers making a slightly unimpressed one-sided smirk.

There's a certain cruelty present in the universe when according to the ridiculous fancy scale that measures everything I bought, how I can be apparently 35% fat, and still have knuckly talon fingers and no boobs. I also like Curves' measurement where I was only 29.6% body fat instead.

(P.S. Don't argue about how it's not as awful as I carry on about. My brain is incapable of seeing pictures of myself any other way, despite anyone else's protestations. And I'm not fishing for compliments.)